I am so tired of “the battle of the bulge.”
I am tired of “getting back on the wagon” and resolving to eat better, to walk more, to banish fried potatoes from my life.
I am tired of “vegan” being equated with a myriad of things it’s not: a diet, something for health nuts, an eating disorder, a difficult, impossible thing to take up.
I am tired of being scared to death of dying of cancer, of getting diabetes, of the number on the scale.
I am tired of doctors appointments where my bloodwork looks great but I’m told that I still need to be concerned about my weight.
I am part of this nasty cycle that I feel society perpetuates. Weight loss challenges at work. Cleanses and fasts and things that don’t work in the longterm.
But I like counting calories. But I like potato chips. But I loved my Fitbit and vow never to buy another Microsoft Band when the one on my wrist dies.
And I forgot to sync my Band to the app this week. And I forgot to carry my phone in my pocket so that the Fitbit app would pick up steps. And I forgot when I bought two bags of lentil snaps this morning that yesterday I’d decided to curb that habit.
It’s not “wrong” to hate exercise. It’s not “wrong” to like fried foods. It’s not “wrong” to struggle somewhere in the middle of wanting to be healthier and wanting to buck the system.
Health starts in mindset. And that is the one constant journey that makes all of the rest of it so very frustrating.