If I Had a Billion Dollars (I’d Be Rich)

I’ve been daydreaming about what I’d do if I won the big Powerball jackpot. (Spare me the “your chances of being struck my lightning are greater” spiel, funsuckers.)

Would I immediately quit my job? Would I hang out awhile, stress-free, knowing that I had the freedom to not work? Would I travel the States? Europe? New Zealand? Would I buy a big house with space for more rescue dogs? Would I open a farm sanctuary and hire others to run it?

I wouldn’t have to eat Earth Balance Mac & Cheese (but I would). I wouldn’t have to cook, because I could hire a private chef to cook me amazing vegan meals. I wouldn’t have to drive because I could pay someone to chauffeur me around. I wouldn’t have to be sad about not being able to read 4,000 books because I would have that much more time to reach that number. I wouldn’t have to deal with cold, snowy winters because that’s what second homes are for.

I still wouldn’t buy 75 handbags and 80 pairs of shoes, because I don’t see the point. I still wouldn’t eat caviar and foie-gras, because that shit is cruel. I still wouldn’t drive an Escalade, because, c’mon, that’s just silly. I still wouldn’t spend it all, because have you ever seen an episode of Winning the Lottery Ruined My Life?

They say all you need is a dollar and a dream. I have lots of dreams. It would be nice to realize some of them.

What about you? What are your billion-dollar dreams?

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